oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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