that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
