Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
A+ Viking dick
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
