Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
