I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
