Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
How does it feel to date your dad?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
