my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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