I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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