doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
