this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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