I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
