why didn't you poke me back
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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