glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
