by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
