So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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