They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
