I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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