it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
