I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
