I've blown a few things in my day
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Watching her eat just hurts me
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
