If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
