I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
