woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
