Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
