Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
