he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
