return my video game
I love black thongs
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
