I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
