The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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