Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
