I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
