I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
