Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
