The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
