Buhtt sex?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
