Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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