batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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