You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Randomize
