i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
