its not stalking. its research.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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