he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
