The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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