You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Randomize
