how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
