totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
