I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
