it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
