belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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