Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
