so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just threw up on my dentist
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
