seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
